A DLA career can get into the cinema for free

•February 13, 2011 • 2 Comments

If you or your child get DLA (or are reg blind), then if you get this card (£5.50 a year), a career can get into the cinema for free.
The Cinema Exhibitors’ Association Card

Welcome to The Cinema Exhibitors’ Association Card Website. This is a national card that can be used to verify that the holder is entitled to one free ticket for a person accompanying them to the cinema. Terms and Conditions of use apply which can be downloaded by clicking the link.

Hope FM Interview Mon 10th Jan 2010

•January 12, 2011 • 1 Comment

I went along to HopeFm http://www.hopefm.com/ as a parent speaking about Autism, raising awareness and discussing parent/career resources, support services and support from other parents.

Here is a link to the interview http://www.paperworkfairy.org.uk/hopefm10janroughedit.mp3. There are other articles related to this under the ASD category on the right hand side bar.If you need any help and support with children under five contact your health visitor or your local Children Centre

http://www.bournemouth.gov.uk/Education/Early_Years/Children_Centres/default.asp or ask your doctor or at your child’s school.

Bournemouth Parent Carer Forum

•January 6, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Coping Mechanisms for Parents With Autistic Children | eHow.co.uk

•December 25, 2010 • Leave a Comment

There’s some really good ideas here for activities and benefits for parent groups.

Coping Mechanisms for Parents With Autistic Children | eHow.co.uk.

COME ON FACEBOOK FRIENDS – find a cartoon character from childhood and change it to your profile picture. This is a campaign to stop violence against children. AND IF YOU HAVE DONE IT BEFORE – DO IT AGAIN … as many as possible of 6th December 2010 (here’s how:-)

•December 7, 2010 • Leave a Comment

COME ON FACEBOOK FRIENDS – find a cartoon character from childhood and change it to your profile picture. This is a campaign to stop violence against children. AND IF YOU HAVE DONE IT BEFORE – DO IT AGAIN … as many as possible of 6th December 2010 (PLEASE)


How to search for an image using Google and then save it to your computer;

1. You can access Google’s Image Search by going to www.google.com and then selecting the “images” tab (in blue on the top right hand corner on my pc). It can also be found at http://images.google.com.

2. Enter your search request in the box in the usual way, i.e; Pint Panther Inspector.

3. You can find more images buy clicking the next page button or page number buttons at the bottom of the first page of results. The most relevant images found are usually shown on the top page.

4. Go to the website that your chosen image is published on by clicking the image.

5. On the next screen hover the mouse pointer over the image and click the RIGHT mouse button and select “save picture as”.


6. Browse to the file location where you would like to save the image and enter a name for your saved image.

How to Upload your image to Facebook to change your profile picture.

1. Log into Facebook and go to your profile page by clicking that tab ( on the top right hand side of my home page on my computer)

2. Hover the mouse pointer over your current profile picture and a link to “change picture” should appear on the top right hand corner of the picture – click this


3. Then select upload a picture. 

4. Browse to the file location of where you save your picture and click open.

5. Your photo is being uploaded and will replace your current picture at the end of this process.

Further Issues.

If the picture is too big, the wrong size or file format then Facebook might reject the upload. You can try following the instructions on http://www.webresizer.com/ to reduce image size, crop photos, sharpen, resize – change width and height, rotate, adjust contrast, brightness, saturation, convert photo to black and white


•November 30, 2010 • 1 Comment

Top 10 Facts About Autism

By Lisa Jo Rudy, About.com Guide

Updated November 16, 2010

About.com Health’s Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board

See More About:

Parents of children with autism quickly discover the top autism facts. But what about in-laws, teachers, coaches, and cousins? Few people outside the immediate family really want to read 20 closely-written pages from the National Institutes of Health. This brief, pithy article provides the bare bones basics for a quick read – along with links to more in-depth information for those who want to know.


1. Autism Is a ‘Spectrum’ Disorder

People with autism can be a little autistic or very autistic. Thus, it is possible to be bright, verbal, and autistic as well as mentally retarded, non-verbal and autistic. A disorder that includes such a broad range of symptoms is often called a spectrum disorder; hence the term “autism spectrum disorder.” The most significant shared symptom is difficulty with social communication (eye contact, conversation, taking another’s perspective, etc.).

2. Asperger Syndrome is a High Functioning Form of Autism

Asperger Syndrome (AS) is considered to be a part of the autism spectrum. The only significant difference between AS and High Functioning Autism is that people with AS usually develop speech right on time while people with autism usually have speech delays. People with AS are generally very bright and verbal, but have significant social deficits (which is why AS has earned the nickname “Geek Syndrome”).

3. People With Autism Are Different from One Another

If you’ve seen Rainman or a TV show about autism, you may think you know what autism “looks like.” In fact, though, when you’ve met one person with with autism you’ve met ONE person with autism. Some people with autism are chatty; others are silent. Many have sensory issues, gastrointestinal problems, sleep difficulties and other medical problems. Others may have social-communication delays – and that’s it.

4. There Are Dozens of Treatments for Autism – But No ‘Cure’

So far as medical science is aware, there is at present no cure for autism. That’s not to say that people with autism don’t improve, because many improve radically. But even when people with autism increase their skills, they are still autistic, which means they think and perceive differently from most people. Children with autism may receive many types of treatments. Treatments may be biomedical, sensory, behavioral, developmental or even arts-based. Depending upon the child, certain treatments will be more successful than others.

5. There Are Many Theories on the Cause of Autism, But No Consensus

You may have seen or heard news stories about possible causes of autism. Theories range from mercury in infant vaccines to genetics to the age of the parents to almost everything else. At present, most researchers think autism is caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors – and it’s quite possible that different people’s symptoms have different causes.

6. Children Rarely “Outgrow” Autism

Autism is ausually lifelong diagnosis. For some people, often (but not always) those who receive intensive early intervention, symptoms may decrease radically. People with autism can also learn coping skills to help them manage their difficulties and even build on their unique strengths. But a person with autism will probably be autistic throughout their lives.

7. Families Coping with Autism Need Help and Support

Even “high functioning” autism is challenging for parents. “Low functioning” autism can be overwhelming to the entire family. Families may be under a great deal of stress, and they need all the non-judgemental help they can get from friends, extended family, and service providers. Respite care (someone else taking care of the person with autism while other family members take a break) can be a marriage and/or family-saver!

8. There’s No ‘Best School’ for a Child with Autism

You may have heard of a wonderful “autism school,” or read of a child doing amazingly well in a particular type of classroom setting. While any given setting may be perfect for any given child, every child with autism has unique needs. Even in an ideal world, “including” a child with autism in a typical class may not be the best choice. Decisions about autistic education are generally made by a team made up of parents, teachers, administrators and therapists who know the child well.

9. There Are Many Unfounded Myths About Autism

The media is full of stories about autism, and many of those stories are less than accurate. For example, you may have heard that people with autism are cold and unfeeling, or that people with autism never marry or hold productive jobs. Since every person with autism is different, however, such “always” and “never” statements simply don’t hold water. To understand a person with autism, it’s a good idea to spend some time getting to know him or her – personally!

10. Autistic People Have Many Strengths and Abilities

It may seem that autism is a wholly negative diagnosis. But almost everyone on the autism spectrum has a great to deal to offer the world. People with autism are among the most forthright, non-judgemental, passionate people you’ll ever meet. They are also ideal candidates for many types of careers.


•September 7, 2010 • 4 Comments


I am looking for a Direct Payments Personal Assistant to support my twin boys and their dad out in the community.

The boy’s names are Chakra and Karma. They are just 5 years old and are moderately autistic. Chakra has a good vocabulary and is starting to put two word sentences together – although he is a little shy in using his words. Karma is non-verbal but he is signing please, thank you, sorry and waiting and we hope to build on this. Both boys are in nappies and need help with personal care. Their dad also as additional needs; he is 80% deaf in one ear.

The format on Saturdays usually is to meet the boys and their dad at his flat in Christchurch at 11am and then go out to Christchurch quay and play area if the weather is good or alternatively to the swimming baths at Two Rivers Meet Leisure Centre. The boys then need to be dropped back at my house in Bournemouth at 3pm.

From time to time you might also be asked to do additional hours; for example, in a few weeks the boys and their dad supported by our nanny are coming to a festival in Brighton where I will be working. You may also be asked if you are available to care for the twins at my home overnight while I get some rest bite. ‘Team twin’ currently consists of a part time child minder/nanny and 3 other PA’s; we are currently reviewing the overnight rate, although the usual rate is £8 per hour, plus holiday pay.

It is essential that applicants have relevant experience, are car drivers/owners and like to go swimming!

Please apply by email enclosing a CV or personal statement, a contact telephone number and please also give contact details of your current references. Please can you also confirm if you are CRB checked or not?

Thank you and fairy best wishes

Samantha Monks >;<

the paperwork fairy


PRESS RELEASE (wot I wrote in March 2010) Headline – Passionate Pompey fans rally round Portsmouth Football Club

•April 13, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Two musicians, who are also lifelong supporters of Portsmouth Football Club have recorded a song to be used as fundraiser for the club which recently made history by being the first Premier League team ever to enter administration.

Phil Swan and Mike Fowler are the founding members of the band Forever Blue and in 2008

co-wrote and produced ‘We’re On Our Way (to Wembley)’ for Portsmouth fans in celebration of the club’s historic 1-0 quarter final win at Old Trafford against Manchester United – Portsmouth then went on to win the FA Cup that year for the second time in the club’s history.

Despite their precarious financial position, Portsmouth Football Club now also faces the prospect of chasing FA Cup glory once again as the club has made it to the FA Cup semi-finals; which will be played out at Wembley Stadium on Sunday April 11th 2010.

Phil and Mike have re-recorded and released ‘We’re On Our Way (to Wembley)’ but this time as a way for fans to support and rally around their club in its hour of need. Phil said;

“Well Mike and I have changed the lyrics a bit, as the original needed some alterations. We’ve recorded an updated version and now we are going to release the track giving all the money made from sales straight to the club. We’re in administration and we’re bottom of the table but we’re still going to Wembley. That is the passion of Pompey for you and the magic of the FA Cup, and that is what we are singing in our song.”

The track will be available online to download on the official Portsmouth Football Club web site and at http://www.mungojerry.com/Shop#MP3s ; Phil and Mike are in the process of organising several live performances of ‘We’re On Our Way (to Wembley)’ on national, regional, local TV and radio stations.

Tel: Phil Swan on. Mobile: 07512 320960 Land Line: 01305 830367

Big Green World – a proposal for partnership working together for a greener world

•August 29, 2009 • 6 Comments

I might be sticking my neck a little far over the parapet but I have been trying to think up organisational models that the BGG could emulate and then maybe survive… for days… and then… I was really (surprisingly) impressed by the Principles set out in my local town’s LSP* and adapted it to suit what I think are the needs of the BGG as a community, organisation, and, emotively, as a family that I would really hate to see get split up, or worse – commercialised!!  I’d be really interested to hear what others think of this idea. It’s a long term plan and a long document but please stick with it – or skip straight to the PRINCIPLES at the end and then go back to read it from the start if you feel that you support the BGG/subsequent related event/company/partnership adopting these principles. Thank you fairy much!


* Local Strategic Partnership (LSP). Every local authority area must have a LSP. Statutory public sector partners have a legal duty to work together on targets set out in a Local Area Agreement.


 What is BGW 2029?

 BGW 2029 (Big Green World 2029) is proposed partnership working document that can bring together hundreds of people who are share holders of the BGG. In this way people from voluntary, community and faith organisations, private companies and public services and third sector can work together to continue the spirit of the BGG, born from the Greenfields of Glastonbury festival, in order to continue to increase public awareness of green living, environmental and social justice issues through the production of a green festival event.

 By working together individuals and organisations can pool resources and expertise to achieve our goals; partnership working together for a greener world.

 Why is it called BGW 2029?

This proposal for partnership working is consulted on a 20 year vision for the BGG (or what’s left of it) hence the name BGW 2029; to remind partners that we are all working towards this global vision.

 What is the purpose of BGW2029?

 What are The Aims?


 •           Identify the challenges facing the BGG/subsequent related event/company.

•           Find solutions to the difficult economic and environmental problems

•           Consult on what we want the BGG/subsequent related event/company to be like in the future, agree a shared vision in a Strategy and an action plan

•           Encourage all partners to ensure that their strategies and plans work towards achieving the vision

•           Identify and seek support to deliver our goals and area agreement targets

•           Bring together people to work together on this and related projects

•           Help shape the delivery of a green festival event

•           Develop area agreements with Government and the Council

•           Apply for funding, create income streams and agree how funding should be allocated

 How can the work of the partnership be shared?

 Consultation Forums

Consultation Forums report to the BGW 2029 Board and link to one or more Strategic Delivery Partnerships. These Forums consult with partners including representatives of the green community, to identify aspects of the BGG/subsequent related event/company that need improving, identify new issues, recommend actions and review the vision and goals. They review the progress of the partnership towards achieving these improvements and identify obstacles that are preventing those improvements. The Consultation Forums are open to all current BGG shareholders including those who are representatives of partner organisations plus other individuals/organisations who ‘sign up’ to join BGW 2029.

 Strategic Delivery Partnerships (previously Area Co-ordinators)

The Strategic Delivery Partnerships are responsible for the delivery of community strategy goals and targets within their remit.  They find ways of addressing the identified challenges, allocate resources and make the improvements happen. Each Strategic Delivery Partnership (SDP) may have a number of Sub Groups who deliver on specific goals. Strategic Delivery Partnerships are made up of partners who can allocate their individual and organisations resources to deliver on identified targets. These partnerships report to the Delivery Board.  They also link to a Consultation Forum.

 The Delivery Board (previously finance/management/production team)

The Delivery Board which is responsible for ensuring the necessary arrangements are in place to achieve the outcomes in the Strategy and action plan. The Delivery Board is responsible for the set up and management of the financial arrangements and for monitoring the performance of the Strategic Delivery Partnerships. They consult with their governing bodies, secure their organisations’ agreement and commitment to delivery for proposals.

 The Vision BGW 2029 Board (Area co-ordinators, Directors plus Multi Agency Reps?)

The Vision BGW 2029 Board represents all sectors of the partnership and has responsibility for setting the strategic direction of the partnership/production of event.  This board agrees the long term vision and strategy for the partnership. It consults widely on the collated vision and identifies gaps in the allocated responsibilities and crosscutting issues of forums. The Vision BGW 2029 Board establishes and monitors the arrangements to act on any issues in the Strategy and ensures that the Delivery Board manages those arrangements.

 The BGW 2029 Executive Board (elected Directors/ex-Directors/Consultants)

The BGW 2029 Executive Board is a mechanism to ensure that the risks to the Accountable Body, which in this case is the BGG, are ones it can take on and control. Whilst the Vision BGW 2029 Board continues to lead the direction and arrangements for the Strategy, the Executive Board manages the special relationship with the Council. The Executive Board is responsible for ensuring adequate governance and performance management arrangements are complied with and makes sure that BGW 2029 complies with legislation.

 How could we group partners in Consultation Forums?


 Sustainable environment; could look at environmental, housing and travel.

 Stronger Communities; could look at campaigns, social justice issues, respect for one another, reducing global poverty and disadvantage

 Economy; improve the financial stability of the BGG/subsequent related event/company, fundraise, improve and sustain income and investment and raise skill levels

 Health & Wellbeing; could look at ways to improve/raise awareness of a holistic approach to organisational, event, public and individual health & safety, sustainability and longevity

 Each forum would need a chair, vice chair and possibly also a secretary. I don’t see any reason why these forums could include both virtual ‘on-line’ forums/meetings/conferences as well as good old fashioned face-to-face meetings.

 SDPS; Each Consultation Forum then elect representatives/area co-ordinating groups for corresponding Strategic Delivery Partnerships – SDPs  – plus these additional suggested areas that need management by elected members/volunteers from the consultation forums;

 Communication Committee; co-ordinates the delivery internally of information relative to the delivery of the agreed targets and also externally; PR, press and marketing.

 Humankind Resources; recruits, mentors, evaluates and trains volunteers and ‘work force’ also co-ordinates the diversity and delivery of area’s such as kids, teens, LGBT, Gamma, Faith, etc.

 Creative Being; Visual and performance arts, partnership group & event branding/imagery

 ??? Are there any area’s that I’ve missed….?

 Who could join?

Any BGG shareholder or other individual or organisation that is willing to sign up to the principles and values of BGW 2029.

 In you are interested in this proposal and have any suggestions please post them here or email me at BGW2029@paperworkfairy.org.uk


 These are the suggested principles that might apply to all partners who are members of BGW 2029;

 SELFLESSNESS partners would act solely in terms of the interest of BGW 2029. They should not do so in order to gain financial or other benefits for themselves, their family or their friends.

 INTEGRITY partners should not place themselves under any financial or other obligation to outside individuals or organisations that might seek to influence them in the performance of their responsibilities.

 OBJECTIVITY in carrying out BGW 2029 business, including making public appointments, awarding contracts, or recommending individuals for rewards and benefits, Partners should make choices on merit.

 ACCOUNTABILITY partners are accountable for themselves, for their decisions and actions for BGW 2029 and must submit themselves to whatever scrutiny is appropriate to their position.

 OPENNESS partners should be as open as possible about all the decisions and actions they take

 HONESTY partners have a duty to declare any private interests relating to their responsibilities and to take steps to resolve any conflicts arising in a way that protects BGW 2029 interests

 LEADERSHIP partners should promote and support these principles by leadership and example.


•           Can do attitude

•           Openness

•           Empowerment

•           Equality and Diversity

•           Sustainability

•           Continuous improvement

•           Developing shared objectives

•           Green living

•           Social Justice

Nanny for Autistic Twins start Sep in Bournemouth

•August 8, 2009 • 2 Comments


I am looking for a nanny, to work in my home to begin with, to start at the end of September.

I have twin boys who were 4 on 3rd July – their names are Chakra and Karma (boys). The boys are also moderately autistic however Chakra is starting to put two word sentences together and with help, I hope that Karma will develop some more verbal communication – at the moment all he says is ‘oh no!’ and ‘mummy’. If you have read the book “A friend like Henry”; Karma has the developmental ability of a one year old child and is very much like a young Dale, the boy featured in the book – however – thankfully now the tantrums last only a few minutes rather than as long as a couple of hours (which is what it was like when they were just toddling!) Both boys are in nappies.

I am a working single mum. I work for a local charity called The Butterfly Foundation – see video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMebehyKZs0 I will be applying through working tax credit for help with childcare, so ideally I need to hire someone with the appropriate OFSTED registration. However – after an initial trial period, I am willing to pay for the right person to go through this registration process – which takes 12 weeks and will cost me approximately £300 – at the end of this period the rate of pay will be increased accordingly.

I would need someone who can be flexible with their hours with availability from 9am – 6.30pm, working 15 – 22 hours per week at a rate of £8 – 9 per hour, (£7.50 for an unregistered person). My work currently is literally at the top of my road so I’ll only ever be a few minutes away and can pop back whenever needed. The flexibility required is due to the different times the care is needed, say; during school holidays, term time and for a couple of months after the start of this next term the boys will be gradually introduced to attending school working up to 5 mornings a week and eventually full days at school. So in the future the hours required are likely to be 3.30 – 6.30pm Monday – Friday during term time. However, I am also required to work some evenings and weekends so there are additional hours here and – I have some direct payment assistants that can cover some of the usual working hours offering the nanny some flexibility too. I am looking for someone who will be committed to staying with us for a number of years if possible.

Unfortunately, as they have challenging behaviour – it is not possible for one adult to take both boys out – however I have friends and family who can come round and help the boys and me or the nanny get out from time to time. I am also looking into the possibility of hiring two nannies on certain days of the week.

It is essential that applicants have a desire to work with children with additional needs – they need oodles of patience and a very, very caring nature. The boys, with help, will learn and develop new skills BUT AT THEIR OWN PACE. Social Services and the Ofsted registration will require you to pass an advanced CRB check to work with children.

Please apply by return or email enclosing a CV or personal statement and please also provide current references. Please can you also confirm if you are Ofsted registered or not.

Thank you and fairy best wishes

Samantha Monks >;<

the paperwork fairy


tel: 01202 386348

mob: 07954 698666



The education system is failing my kids and they haven’t even started school yet!!

•May 18, 2009 • Leave a Comment

this one

More details to follow soon – in the meanwhile – this was sent to me by another mum who recieved it from her local branch of the National Autistic Society:

“Look out for the special autism supplement to be published in Education Guardian on Tuesday 19th May. This four-page supplement will provide an in-depth look at autism education in England, with case studies from teaching staff, families and young people on the autism spectrum across the country.”


•April 8, 2009 • Leave a Comment


I have just added some exciting news and pictures to http://www.thebutterflyfoundation.org.uk/ – please click the new for 2009 image at the top right to go to the Latest News page.

Arrrrrrrgh-doh!-be not so flash player!

•February 3, 2009 • 4 Comments

I have today spent an improper length of time sorting out an adobe flash player / IE explorer issue. I know quite a few peps who are having problems with various adobe bits and pieces at the moment – wonder what that’s all about?!

Well this issue has been driving me mad and to distraction to extent that whilst making a (very late) breakie for me and the gorgeous boys – I licked raw eggs off my fingers – urgh!

It all started having made a slide show in just minutes using the wordpress support forum link to www.slide.com but having pasted the returned code into a new gallery page – all that was displayed was a blank box with one of them funny, coloured squares in the top left hand corner. How annoying.

So I did a googly searchy thingy and came back with something about uninstalling IE – which I did after installing Firefox (should have had it on here anyway for website testing 🙂 Well what d’ya know – on opening the afro mentioned gallery page the firefox download what-dya-call-it-thing automatically downloads flash player.exe and the slideshow then displays correctly in Firefox. But not IE. Hum…

Well after much soul searching and more googly eyes, eventually got flash player working on IE and suggest that any peps having the same issue have a go at the following steps (not necessarily shown in the right order) – one of them worked – not sure which.

·        Installing windows updates and restarting an unrememberable number of times

·        Giving adobe flash player and plug in all access options possible on my firewall

·        Deleting adobe shockwave plug in from tools>manage plug ins

·        Uninstalling adobe shockwave and flash player and plug in in program manager

·        Installing adobe flash player (using IE)

Further reading/links/forum answers;





http://www.ieaddons.com/en/toolbarsandextensions (don’t use this for flash player – use the adobe one – I think :o)


Check out Jason Hinchey in the interweb

•January 28, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Bit late posting this… locally vocally folkie songster Jason Hinchey has his own fairy powered website at www.Jasonhinchey.co.uk. Here is one of the great things the great people have said who have already taken the time to comment on his guest book

“I was feeling prettu good before I saw your website and heard your music. Now I feel even better. Thank you for positive songs sung with great feeling. …. I’d be happy to hear more, please announce an album when you can. Good luck.”

Kev Markwell said this on January 7, 2009

– please have a look (and listen! http://jasonhinchey.wordpress.com/welcome-to-my-website/my-music/ ) yourself and tell us what you think! Thank you fair much xx >;< ❤

Fairy Powered Butterfly Foundation web updates

•November 29, 2008 • 2 Comments


I’ve just set up the new Facebook Group and Cause for The Butterfly Foundation– one of my clients that I have had the pleasure of working with for a number of years and have recently achieved Charity Status. The Butterfly Facebook Group has been set up as a closed group for the benefit of Butterflys’ members – that means that only people we know and trust and view and post to the group. However, you can still show your support by checking out the website (Using the link under LINKS in the right hand column) and support the cause on Facebook by clicking the picture below.

Butterfly poster

thank you fairy much >;<

Stone Seeker Speaker unravels earth mysteries and Freemasonry secrets will be revealed at Holistic Event in redundant church

•November 28, 2008 • 1 Comment

Here follows something that’s a bit interesting – its a press release ‘what i wrote’ that due to circumstances beyond fairy magical reach, was not distributed through the normal channels… but how fairy fantastic – I can put it here!

A real life Da Vinci Code-type experience will be on offer as famous Dorset author and earth mysteries investigator Peter Knight, well known for his lively and enthusiastic talks about topics relating to the ancient heritage of Dorset will be speaking at a Holistic Day at The Bourne Spring Community Centre (previously St Mary’s Church) in Springbourne on Sunday 30th November. Bev Frost continues the mystery-detective theme in her talk about the origins of Freemasonry, the Knights Templar and how they are intrinsically linked to Tarot.

A welcoming and healing environment will complement these talks and there will be refreshments, stalls, readings, and therapies available.

The admittance to these talks and the event is 50p and door proceeds will be donated to Boscombe Community Fair.

For more information contact 07518 371950.

getting somewhere now… next stop fairy land?

•November 28, 2008 • 9 Comments

well, it’s not all that tricky really – maybe it’s the magic? Got off to a good start adding my own header picture and whoopeeeeee! I’m so chuffed I have figured out how to get some animation on this thing (see about page). now all I have to do is think of something interesting to write….. to be continued…..

what am i doing here?!

•November 27, 2008 • 3 Comments

wow, been recommended to use word press and hey presto – there’s a heap of new things for me to learn. Please be patient as find my way around this thing!


•September 6, 2019 • Leave a Comment


Metallic ROSE PINK ½ price NEW

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response to The Dark Side of the Stim: Self-injury and Destructive Habits

•December 22, 2018 • Leave a Comment

ref: The Dark Side of the Stim: Self-injury and Destructive Habits

I’ve been finding it hard to explore and coherently explain my recently realised Autistic traits and symptoms – which is a bit mad because over the last 13 years I’ve become a bit of an expert on decoding and relaying what my non-verbal and severely effected ASD twins need as exhibited in their stimming and other behaviour.

I really hope that someone somewhere is also taking the initiative to refer and listen to us – we need better understanding and tolerance individually and as a community with a recognised collective ‘neuro-diversity’ I think we can more precisely request how the support we get could be improved and made more appropriate and effective – I’m thinking more about our kids and making the future brighter for them. In my experience, services and resources can be a bit hit and miss but regardless – they are always delivered by wonderful people and I’m so grateful that they’re there to catch us when we fall but I’m also a massive believer in personally substantiating continuous improvement by taking responsibility and being empowered by people who know what I need is help to be able to help myself because there is NO WAY I’m prepared or able to listen to someone else’s usually advice or direction incorrectly concluded based on assumptions that are completely wrong – because either I struggle to explain myself clearly or worse – they haven’t even bothered to ask questions to talk to me directly and they would quickly realise that actually they are not going to be any help to me before they take some time to look at the situation as it really is (and not as it seems) and with my help reassess.

I’ve been trying to figure out how to say this for a while now… it’s my stimming…for me for sure – there’s a connection between my (recently released) Aspy-self, the need for stim, and cycles of about 6/7 years which I’ve also been told are probably down to cyclic female hormone changes. I’m thinking maybe the hormones effect my need for stim and this is exhibited in my promiscuousness and/or ‘substance’ misuse. Regardless of lessons from the past; knowing this behaviour is potentially harmful, addictive or risks me becoming dependant – every 6/7 years or so I have to focus on understanding why I use sex, drugs, alcohol to cope because otherwise I’m going to loose control – and I can’t cope with that either.. I’ve just realised that cyclically over my 42 years at times when I feel completely alone and misunderstood I’ve easily and instantly found comfort and confidence when I choose to use drugs or initiate sex because, to quote your article I’ve self managed my need for “intense, un-ignorable stimulation that will drown out the world and provide a focal point”. The danger for me is when instead of a way of coping with the world that stim or ‘focal point’ becomes the only thing in the world that matters… and that’s when I really start loosing the plot and missing out on life. Does anyone else resonate with this or know of any useful research, or findings, articles etc that might help me understand better and find less harmful ways of coping?

Thanks again for reading my comment 🙂

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